Most of us have experienced either being bullied by somebody, or have bullied someone else. In this modern world, none escapes this trend; young and old are not exempted.
So “God” can you tell me why people bully one another? If it is true that you made human beings, then I think it is reasonable to ask You about this matter. Care to share?
I don’t think that people are bad, just because they are bullies. I think it’s being part of us being humans. We do it not because we want to play with someone else’s feeling, nor because we want to offend people, but because we want to make dull moments interesting and memorable. Why is that? Imagine if the world had no bullies, I think life will no longer be challenging, there will be no reason to strive, to push forward, to work hard. We’ll become lazy eventually and monotonous. I think, being bullied can help us to be the best we can be. It can influence us to believe in ourselves and prove bullies are wrong. It forces us to reflect on our weaknesses, shortcomings and realize reality. By which, in the long run, will produce stronger, more improved, or should I say, the best version of ourselves.
On the contrary, if we’ll accept bully as a matter of insult and degradation, then it can result into a catastrophic depression. It could make a person bitter and suicidal. It can lead to hatred, lost of confidence and worst, violence. Bullies, if not controlled, can cause mayhem to the world, which why regulations, rules and laws become a necessity, so that bullying might be controlled.
But can we really stop this attitude of humiliation? I guess no one can, it’s our innate character. Even though we don’t bully a person in speech, but we do bully him in our mind or else by our actions. Worst, we bully people behind their backs most of the time; we make gossips as if we are just showing “concern” to them.
While in the shoe of the person being bullied, as such, causes anger and irritation which can lead to retaliation and brawl. We can’t easily forget the insults and might continuously ring in our minds, which make us weaker and powerless. Many times we can’t sleep, we think of things about revenge. We make plots on how to turn the tide, we imagine what the end will be. It definitely should be, the bully on his knees, remorseful, begging for our forgiveness.
So, what causes people to be hurt and upset? When most of the time, bullies bully with words. Why is it that we are offended every time people say bad things about us? Is it because of pride? Is it because we need to be respected? Is it because we don’t want to be demeaned? I know we have a lot of reasons to say, just to defend ourselves from being bullied.
The human behavior greatly differs from animals I could say. I have seen animals get mad, but not because they have been bullied by another, but because of threat in territorial space, food and rivalry. They really get into the fight –for survival, territory, food and mate.
Unlike animals, we humans have the ability to control our emotions. We know how to hide our feelings and pretend. We often reply to people asking about our well being, “I’m perfectly fine” where in truth we’re not. We burst in tears when we cannot hold it anymore. We like to stay in the shadows when we are depressed. No medicine that can cure the pain in the heart and no remedy can ease the feeling of hurt. Only time can tell, when and how. And yet, we still smile and pretend, because of our ability to control our emotions, and can shift moods too.
Each morning, we are granted with the option of what to think about for the day. We can either choose to remain and linger at the troubles of yesterday, or rather, think about the good things that might possibly happen along the way. With this, we’ll be able to foresee what the outcome might be ‘till the rest of the day.
Every time I encounter bullies along the way, I don’t avoid them, I remain where I am. And whenever I overhear things that pertain to me, I just ignore them, as if I don’t know what they are talking about. Really, how can I possibly know what they are talking about. If they would ask me personally, that would be better. If they don’t want to talk about it with me, therefore I have nothing to do with it. That’s their problem, not mine. And to let everyone know, there are ordinary bullies, professional bullies and stupid bullies. Ordinary bullies are the bullies we meet daily; they just want to make fun of people and that’s it, pure pleasure. Professional bullies are those who bully people with grace and decorum. They are sometimes tagged as: “hypocrites” or “fake friends” (please don’t be angry yet). Stupid bullies are those who do not realize that they are even worst (in appearance or stature) than the ones they’re bullying with, and later got offended instead of offending.
In reality, words can never hurt people; it’s the motive and behavior. They are just conveyed through words. We should keep in mind that motive and behavior do change, depending on the mood of the speaker. If the speaker is starving, then we can expect bad words from him. Or if a person just got fired from his job, then we can’t expect him to be happy about it. He might say foul words, and we are in no exception of receiving such, if we find ourselves in his way. Another instance, if a person is really a “mean” bully, then he could have been influenced by someone or something. It could be his friends or family. Or could be something he learned from the movies. The best countermeasure that we can do is to “understand”, who and what makes a person -a bully. Then, we can turn the tide in good favor for both.
Words are just mere words. They don’t mean anything at all, unless we accept them at their face value. What I do is, I always translate bad words into good words. If somebody tells me “Why are you so ugly?” I’ll translate it as “Hey, I’ve been observing you and you just caught my attention.” Then I would reply, “Oh, thank you, I didn’t know you’ve been watching me for a while.” He might get angry for the response and say, “Are you kidding me?” then I would reply, “No, I thought you were serious when you said I’m ugly, and I thanked you for reminding me of it. Don’t worry, am still happy about it. No offence taken, really.”
A behavior can only be dealt with a behavior. If someone’s behavior is bad towards a person, the person can still behave nicely and with honesty. Words are nothing unless we take them as offensive or compliments. If we think they’re offensive, then we’ll translate them as compliments, at the end of day we’ll have no problem. There might still, but not on our part but on their part, which is no longer our concern.
If a bully continues to persist, don’t ask a doctor, ask him personally, set an appointment, if he agrees, then that will be the first step of knowing why is he such a loser. No, I mean, we can ask him the question “why”. Why is he doing this, why is he so persistent in doing so, and so forth. We might learn that the guy or the girl simply has a crush on us. And he/she just wants to get our attention, then that will be another love story in the making.
Yes, we’ve heard a lot of stories of bullying, some of them ended up as lovers and friends. Sometimes, our greatest enemies become our best friends. How is that? Because they’ve observed us from the beginning and have known our weaknesses, that is why they are best ones who truly understand us better.
Bullying can be a good thing somehow, right? Its intention is to hurt, but can be converted into something good. How can then we define the good without knowing the bad? We can never appreciate the good when there is no bad. That makes us wise, to choose what is good and convert the bad into good.
Maybe this is the reason why “You” allowed us to bully one another “God”, so that we will be able to distinguish through our own, the good and the bad, and to be able to appreciate the good after we strived to get out of the bad. We hope others will also realize this – that life will be dull and boring without bullies (though they are bunch of losers, they are part of life’s challenges), that happiness is not real happiness without sadness. We can be sad at times, but we can choose to be happy, even to be happy along with the bullies.
Good and bad do coexist.
We can be bad as well as good,
But it’s best to be good than to be bad.
Hey “God”, I did all the explanations, where are yours?
Anyway, there is plenty of time, we’ll resume soon.
Thank you for listening “God”, I appreciate Your time and effort,
Next –> Journey #8 I don’t want to be a religious fanatic!